Staarshadow

Ok. So thinks have been flip-flopping between fun and supremely crappy. First off, note the fact that this post exists, therefore I'm still bored as hell. Saturday. Saturday was an interesting day. Spike and I hung out a bit, but he got frustrated enough with the mess in my house that he helped me clean. Shorty showed up soon after and helped some more. So the place is a bit more liveable. At least I have dishes again. That evening, we went out to the castle and saw Angie and some old people from Durant that I was rather shocked to see at the Castle. But they're cool, and they gave me a ride home. Thinking of going back tonight, but I don't think I feel like it. Add to that some stressful conversation that needed to be had with my boyfriend, which unfortunately didn't continue, cause he fell asleep before I got home. I got home at about 3:40 mind you. Then what? I woke up at 7am, wired and wide awake, with the sound of fish screaming cause the other fish were eating them resounding in my head, a leftover from my dream. I decided to go check on my fish, one of whom was going to have babies very soon. She had her babies. All but one had been eaten. Damn cannibals. Sadly, the mother died this morning, probably from the stressful birth. Or indigestion. So then yesterday was more fun and games until evening when I decided to try to continue the discussion with my boyfriend. So now I understand his motivations, but I don't know how to go about changing them.

And then, to add insult to injury, I was supposed to get internet at the house (finally!) today. Unfortunately, it turns out he needed to get into the attic, which means moving out the car, and taking down the canoe. So now I get to try to bribe people to help me deal with the damn thing, then it'll be several more days before htey can get out again. ><. And for all that shit, I had to be up at 8am. And my computer's not playing nice with any of my old games, so i'm stuck with being bored. By the way, if any of you own Heroes of Might and Magic 3, pleeeeease can I burn a copy of it? I can't find mine. Ok. Done again.

Well, apparently my last post was November. Of 2004. I guess I never really got the hang of spewing my guts online. :P Like it helps to get stuff out, but it's personal, so you don't really want people to know what the hell you're talking about. Maybe that's just me. I guess right now i'm back because of this unrelenting boredom. I could get a job, clean the house, work in the yard; hell, I could even go out by myself clubbing. But along witht he boredom comes an extreme lack of motivation which only adds to the boredom. I'd get a cat if I could. A little kitten would provide some company, cuteness, and entertainment that can't be ignored. Damn allergies. And my dad would die when they came back to the house. My mom would have a panic attack like she did with those damn feather pillows. The idea appeals greatly though. lol, the cat would go great with my fish :P perfect combo, no? Maybe i'll go steal sue's cat. Monster. cute little black thing, cuddles up behind you in a chair. and I played with her, and didn't have much of a reaction. I miss my kitten, but damn was I allergic to that little kitty.
So yeah. On top of the boredom is the damn lonliness. My love is 800 miles away, and, it seems, possibly going to stay that way. It's weird that things have turned around like this. Things are different with him. Seeing my friends and their sweethearts depresses me, and everything I do feels like it's missing something 'cause he's not there to share it. It's unnerving. I don't get that attatched. It's a rule. I haven't really cried cause somebody was leaving for a while since my parents left for a cruise in elementary school, or about that time. After that, it's always been ok cause I knew they were coming back, or I just didn't care enough. Now though, even though I know he's coming back, it's depressing as hell to know he's gone at all.
I guess i'll go back to my books now. I'd planned on unpacking my car today, but it's been raining. Hopefully I'll get that damn job, then i'll have to drag my ass out of the house. So, until the next time I get bored enough to post on lj, adieu. See you in another year or two :P

Don't trust, and you will never be betrayed.
Don't give, and you will never be rejected.
Don't open, and you will never feel vulnerable.
Don't hope, and you will never be disappointed.
Don't live, and you will never feel the pain of death.

I learned my lesson long ago. Why was I so quick to forget it? I suppose it was because it was with my family I learned the lesson before. And now, I realize I was naive to think it was just them. So I guess I learned again. Maybe this time I won't forget. But what else can I do? Stand on my own all the time? I try, but not even I can do that. Yes, I admit I am less than I try to be. "Sometimes, I wonder if he sticks his nose in the air, because you all seem so bent on shoving it in the dirt." People are cruel. Not just children. But perhaps early lessons are harder forgotten. But perhaps after all this, I will be less likely to desert those in need. Remember. That's the best I can hope for, and the one thing I know I can't do. Ah well. ..... Good night.

I have a question to ask people. And i'd really like your opinions before the election. If a civil war were to start in the country, people who want freedom vs. people sacrificing freedom for 'safety' (aka - patriot act), what do you think Bush would do, and what do you think Kerry would do?

haha.. scared you... yeah, i'm here, just posting little quizzes.

Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll
Your Name
Astrological Sign
Angel Type	Angel of Love
Wing Color	White with silver tips
Heavenly Weapon	Ability to bless or curse
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

I Am A: Chaotic Evil Elf Bard Thief


Alignment:
Chaotic Evil characters are the most 'evil' people out there. They are willing to do anything to get ahead, and will kill anyone who stands in their way. A chaotic evil person sees no value in order and governments, and believes to the utmost in the tenant that 'Might Makes Right'.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Secondary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for burglary, that is a common occupation of this class.


Deity:
Beshaba is the Chaotic Evil goddess of bad luck, accidents, and mischief. She is also known as the Maid of Misfortune, and also Tyche's unpleasant daughter. Followers of Beshaba believe that bad things happen to everyone, and only by praying to Beshaba will you have a chance of being spared. Her symbol is a set of black deer's antlers inset on a red triangle.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)



I agree with the chaotic part.. and the thief part.. bard's not too bad either.
Ok. i'm done now.
bai :)

Yes, it's me here. After a bit of a break from writing, i'm back. cause i'm procrastinating. avoiding the same things I've been avoiding for weeks. they're due thursday though... Hope I don't shoot myself in the foot with all this... YAY!!! I got an A on my last speech! He said it was one of the best he saw. :D yay! so that means I have a chance of getting an A in that class. Need an A on the final. here's hoping... if not, that's still ok... i'll hold my honors stuff up. But I want A's dammit! comp org- depends. B if nothing else. Comp sci- depends. B if nothing else. Discrete - A unless he's planning on failing a shitload of people. Class average is around a 45, my average is about 80... soo... and I worked it out for economics- I have to get at least an 83 on the final to get an A. easy. So many of them depend on how the teachers curve stuff... Ah well.. staying above the averages pretty well.. here's hoping... maybe? but no- I won't hope for all A's... ahh... how I miss them.... Geoff and I are yay. Gonna spend plenty of time together over break. i'm avoiding doing my homework right now... which is prolly bad... each worth about 10% of the final grade for that class... yeah... well.. discrete... some of those problems looked nasty... and comp sci... I tried reading the assignment, but... *sigh* .. I need to learn how to program better... I think I just get really confused with what they're asking sometimes... well.. I'll go grab some pumpkin pie and start in on the discrete... that's due at 9 am on thurs... the program isn't due till midnight. And i'll study tomorrow for the final that's at 3 on thurs... :) yay! bai!

( I liked the questions... )

And YAY!! lots of Geoff this weekend!!

Muhahahaha... Got back my economics midterm today- I was one of two people to get an A w/out the curve!! WHEEEE!! with the curve, I got a 96! same as last time. Ima kick ass in that class. hehe.. i'm a poet and don't know it! well, I do.. but ennyways... wheee... gotta plan my budget better... By the end of the school year, I MUST have at least $4000 saved up. MUST.... Or.. or.. i'll be mad at myself.. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! ... I just had a realization... If I go along with my new idea to teach creative writing... that means i'll be following in my mom's footsteps... she's a sub... nooooo... .... *looks horrified* well.. Id be a college teacher and not an anklebiter teacher... a saving grace? and i'll be a REAL teacher, not just a sub... *whimper*... is it enough? I'd hate her to think I actually had some sort of respect for her because I was going more into her line of work... Although... if I started teaching right out of college, there's a chance i'd be younger than some of my students... In fact... I still wouldn't even be of legal drinking age... HAHAHAHAHA... just for that, it may be worth it... And it would be SOOO helpful for my writing career. uhm... THEORETICAL writing career.. haha.. there we go... And maybe try to shove some acting in there.... Maybe my story can eventually end up on film!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! yeah right... and if you'd like tickets for THAT show, I've got this swampland in the sahara i'd like to sell ya... It's so weird though... I've been feeling motivated recently. Well, not on some little things *coughomeworkough* But in the long run stuff. I actually got the stuff about my major out of the way, I inquired about the CLEP testing. (Still have to learn the stuff) I've been writing, and i've been planning. I've been enjoying my classes... Well, a few of them, anyways. I don't ever recall ENJOYING going to a real class. I don't ever recall enjoying doing the reading or the learning for it. Maybe I just never LET myself enjoy it before... You know, that whole social stigma against learning. fun learning == nerd == avoid them. But whatever... I'm enjoying. And that's good. :)

( Bottom's up!! )

BOO!!! New icon. OOooOOooOOoo.... ^^

Yes, well, I just found out that I got a 100 on my CS2 midterm!!! WHEEEE!!! And, I am now a Dual Major- Comp Sci and Creative Writing, with a dinky little Digital Media minor tacked on. Don't worry, that'll be killed later. AAAAND... Even if I keep my little dual major, I can still graduate in the proscribed 4 years!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!! My schedule's looking ok for next semester... need one more class... the dual major thing has to get into the system before i can sign up. (hence the need for the dual major) Although, it is a 5 day week again.. *sigh* stupid matrix and linear algebra. But steve's in that now, and he says it's easy, and I looked at it and it seemed pretty easy, so I can SKIP!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!! No, I haven't had much caffeine, and no, I didn't get a lot of sleep. 5 hours. WHEEE!!! let's hear it for discrete midterm!!! WHEEEE!!! And here's a rendition of Anne's discrete midterm: WHEEEEEEut? huh? oh, ****.... MUHAHAHAHHAA... yeah... so hopefully my whee lasted longer than other people's and their HUH??'s were more frequent. MUHAHAHA!!! let's hear it for the inherent stupidity of humanity!!! (especially in my discrete class) WHEEEEE!!!! .. maybe I should sleep. But i'm not sleepy mommy!!!! Tough ****. damn. ah well. no, but i'm not tired, so I won't sleep until I feel like i'm gonna keel over. Also, I discovered that I can still CLEP out of my classes... as long as I have less than 60 credits.. which will be the end of this semester... gotta hurry!! Gotta relearn all of american history (relearn? Oh wait- LEARN..) and the second half of chemistry.. Let's hear it for low standards for CLEP testers!!!! (please??) wheeeee? ok... I'll have class in a too soon time, so i'm gonna go see if I can make another picture fitting to my psychotic nature today. WHEEEEEE!!!!!! *prances off. yes, prances*

( To Hell... )

( quizzes... )

( Trick-or-treat!! .. yeah, I know... i'm a day late.. whatevah.. )

Well, let's see... I've got a midterm tomorrow, midterm on tuesday, midterm on wednesday, comp sci 2 program due on thursday (i get to make the mouse go through the maze), on top of having to figure out my schedule for next semester (sign up on monday), finish sewing my costume, and go to necronomicon this weekend... hrmm... wish me luck!!! ;) At least I get to see my Geoff this weekend though- and I don't have to put up with my parents!! yay!!!

Oh, and yet again, i went to my class an hour early. This time, I knew where it was, and when it was. I just was looking at the real clock wrong... :P I know, i'm a spaz... so sue me...

( Three guesses what this leads to...  )

And as a side note.. sometimes it's the little simple considerate things that bring so much joy and wonder..

( Here... )

( More quizzes, of course... )

And play the game...

( And some more... )


and as a post-note. hehe.. note.. uhm.. Ima see my Geoff this weekend again! yay! (you know, that hottie that you all need to look at his picture?? Yeah. him. :) go ahead. envy me. )